On Being a Phoenix

I think I'm a phoenix, for the sole reason that I can be reborn. You know, out of the ashes and all. No, seriously, prelims are really, really bad. Worse case scenario, I get L1R5 above 20. Best case (and yes I calculated with the most optimism I could muster up after the papers) will be a 11. Yes, best case scenario. Mainly because I know I've really did badly for Physics - no joke, probably a B3 if I'm lucky, a C6 if I'm not - and combined humans.

GAH AM ALMOST DEPRESSED.

And ACJC hasn't confirmed with me the timing for my DEP auditions and sent me the script! I should write an email but I'm so pressed for time; it's not even funny. Here I am, worried sick about prelims and there is ACJC who isn't sending me things that are making me nervous about, too. Did I mention that I'm taking the bus that passes by ACJC just so to get motivation for the O's?

Several entries ago these are my targets for the common tests, prelims and o's:

Common Tests L1R5: 7 I got a 17 instead.
Prelims L1R5: 9 Not really ideal, is it?
O Level's L1R5: 8

Now you can see why I feel so much like a failure.

**

Last night in bed I did up a "I want..." list of practical things. Here's the list, for now.

- Good results
- Entrance to ACJC's DEP for both PAE and JAE
- An iPod (My mum said if my prelims were good. Meh.)
- Guitar pick(s)
- A nice bracelet; my (ONLY) one is kinda boring now
- Nice clothes, please.
- Books (Coelho's Zahir, Bradley's Mists of Avalon, Freakonomics, Sophocles' Antigone and Oedipus Rex, Homer's Iliad and The Odyssey, Fitch's White Oleander, Nix's Old Kingdom, Dumas' Count of Monte Cristo, Dante's Inferno, Marquez's One Hundred Years of Solitude... Actually the list goes on, and I've read most of these books from the library but I'm POSSESIVE. Yes, I am, and I want to own these books. Hahahahhaha.
- Guidebooks (Languages etc; I love guidebooks, really)
- A new watch

On Incoherency

I am, at this moment in time, rendered effectively incoherent.

)(#*UP($U@)*YU@O#(U@O!!!!!!!

Will explain more if you want to email/contact me in whichever way, really. More coherently, I promise.

Also, the second last lap before we get out of Nanhua, woohoo! That said, DEP hasn't sent me the audition script yet. Yikes. Does it mean that they've already started filtering people from auditioning, too? Because if that is the case, then .. Meh. I did the writing-the-application-in-essays thing, too.

()*#^$(*&@#(&@*!~!!!!!!

On Procrastinating

Am I the biggest procrastinator, or am I the biggest procrastinator? (On second thoughts, don't answer. Hahahahah.) I haven't sent the application for DEP out because 1) I'm still deciding if I should write essays for the two questions instead of putting down the shows I've been a part of, and 2) REVISION IS KILLING ME!

I packed my table yesterday. It's very neat now. Really. And subject-coded too. It pains me to think that I'll have to redo the subject coding next year. Heh. But I'm all geared up for JC life. I think. Hm. Gah. I'M CONFUSED.

And not just about studies. ;) But I've given up trying to think too much, because I get confused all the time. Bwahaha. Uh.

I love my guitar. I named it Scout. *nods*