On Asphyxiation

Asphyxiating.

That's what life is, isn't it? The feeling of emptiness and despair that chokes you all the time. It chokes you and you feel your life being sucked out of your entire existence.

There are times you think, hey, life isn't too bad, actually. Then there are other times when you just want to dig a hole and bury yourself - and your problems - in it. You want to escape into a reality that doesn't quite exist.

Sometimes you feel the hot tears behind your eyelids, but you don't want to be viewed as The One Who Cries All The Time. You swallow those tears, painfully back into your heart. It aches, but you ignore it. The society drowns you, and you, in turn, can only try to stay afloat. Sometimes you do it. Other times you fail.

Perhaps one day, all these will be too much to bear. When that day comes, who will know what is running through your head? Are those happy thoughts, or ones drenched in sorrow?

It goes like this. Life goes on, eventually, but how much you enjoy it clearly and ironically adds a burden on your shoulder. We often hear success stories of the impossible - but when are impossibles deemed so, and vice versa? Who holds the authority to do so? Who, indeed?

Ad astra per aspera.